Day 3. My apologies.

February 14th. Valentine's Day. My own personal day from hell.
And not for the reason that it has been in the past. My neighbor at work even got *2* (yeah, not *1*, but *2*) bouquets of roses, and I actually just enjoyed the aroma- as compared to years prior- I would have just been pissed off that someone didn't love me as much. (Note to self, flowers are not a good indicator of another's love.)

I enjoyed her flowers, and thought of all the girls that would probably feel that sting this year- as I have so many years previous. Honestly, the best Valentine's Day I ever remember was when my "Dad" (most likely my mom) sent a rose and a balloon to school with "I love you, Dad" on the card. It felt good to know that I was loved and cared about, and just THOUGHT about on that stupid day. It really is a ridiculous day, but instead of trying to convince myself of that this year, I actually BELIEVED it.
"The love you get, is equal to the love you give." -Beatles

As for the diet, I must apologize to my friends and family for how horrible this is. It's definitely me at my worst. This girl is just REALLY struggling! It's amazing how much support I have- that feels good and recharges me each time any one of you reach out to me. I can not be social, which goes against all of my "butterflyness", I feel hungry, I feel stressed, I feel all-consumed by this diet....I just keep telling myself it WILL pass. I had a few moments today where I felt pretty good (the first hour after lunch), and a few things came across my plate that actually made me laugh today. Here's one of them.

I had a couple of nay-sayers today. Not that I can really blame them. One of them being my over-the-top-dramatics-and-arms-flailing-father. I understand the concern from most of you who say this diet isn't healthy, and there are much better (easier) ways to do this. I hear you, and I believe you. Unfortunately, I've come to that little fork in the road that is somewhere between desperate and enormous- and for me....for now, this IS working. And it's not just something I picked up overnight. It's something that takes an enormous amount of research, work, and commitment. The bottom line is, this is THE hardest thing I've ever done. Similar to an addict going through rehab, I'm just taking this one day at a time. I succesfully completed Day #3, and right now I'm just praying for Day #4.

My food for the day:

Lunch, which consisted of 150 calories of grilled chicken, cooked only with lemon juice and garlic and a few herbs. Cucumber (and a couple of bites of tomato) salad with a homemade vinaigarette (40 calories).

And an apple for a snack.

Dinner consisted of 6oz of Cod (150 calories), grilled on the Foreman with lemon, garlic, and herbs (put into lettuce wrap "tacos"), and 8 stalks of asparagus (40 calories). Dessert was an apple. Again.

In the first 2 days, I lost 6lbs. I'm hoping for good numbers again tomorrow. It would be really great to lose 10lbs in the first week. I think if I do that, I will continue to stay motivated. Again....I hope this gets easier.

I will leave you with Valentine's Day kisses