It's been a while since I've written anything- and a lot of that is purposefully. As most stories start...."So, I met this guy...", and most stories have a middle..."things are going great, I'm so in-love!", and ALL stories have an end. In my perpetual downfall of intimate relationships, it usually goes like this, "what a cock-sucking asshole, he can rot in hell!" And that is that!
I've gone round and round in this type of vicious cycle for so long- but, then I was thrust right into the sweet, loving arms of my boyfriend of about ----waaaaait for iiiit---- *2 months*. So, you see, it's hard to write about this- because we're in that "middle" part- we're currently designing our own story for our particular ending. All you have to know is that things are pretty amazing. Amazing because he cooks, amazing because he works hard, loves his job, amazing because he has completely embraced my dogs as his own, amazing because he embraces my friends
, and amazing because he's absolutely embraced me into every aspect of his life. I feel like I'm part of a team that has such a bigger, better purpose than just me on my own.
So, we're on the way....to something. Right now we're sitting at that infamous fork- do we go left, do we go right, or do we go straight ahead?! I can't predict the future, but with time, I do know that everything will work out just fine!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Deep Fried, Powdered Sugar Dinner
Have you ever eaten beignets for dinner?
No?
I have.
I've eaten them after a long beach vacation. And yes, I had spent the prior week in a bathing suit, feeling really bad about myself.
I came home from vacation right at dinner time, and after looking through the pantry, and the refrigerator, coming up empty handed- I eyeballed the box of Cafe DuMonde beignet mix.
Sure, I had spent the last 4 days on the beach, consuming a liquid caloric intake waaaaaay past the recommended daily maximum, but I needed to eat dinner. And, I had no milk to throw together macaroni & cheese and tuna fish (which is always my last resort, emergency dinner- thanks, Mom), so beignet's it was.
And it was magnificently delicious.
On a side note, I had my brother move the treadmill into my room this afternoon.
My theory is, if it stares me down everyday, maybe I'll eventually want to get on the thing.
Probably not.
But, at least my motives are well intended.
No?
I have.
I've eaten them after a long beach vacation. And yes, I had spent the prior week in a bathing suit, feeling really bad about myself.
I came home from vacation right at dinner time, and after looking through the pantry, and the refrigerator, coming up empty handed- I eyeballed the box of Cafe DuMonde beignet mix.
Sure, I had spent the last 4 days on the beach, consuming a liquid caloric intake waaaaaay past the recommended daily maximum, but I needed to eat dinner. And, I had no milk to throw together macaroni & cheese and tuna fish (which is always my last resort, emergency dinner- thanks, Mom), so beignet's it was.
And it was magnificently delicious.
On a side note, I had my brother move the treadmill into my room this afternoon.
My theory is, if it stares me down everyday, maybe I'll eventually want to get on the thing.
Probably not.
But, at least my motives are well intended.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
My 31 Flavors (and then some...)
Many years ago, one of my best friends posted something on Myspace (that should give you a clue just how long ago it was) that really sat deep with me. What she did was post a list of all of the traits that she was looking for in a man. At that time, the term "man" was loosely defined by us girls, but the point of all of this is that it has stuck with me all of this time what she did. Now, while I don't remember her specific wants in a man, I DO remember how it was just for HER. It wasn't about making anyone else happy, and more than anything, it was to help remind her what it was that she TRULY wanted. I also remember it was a time soon after she broke up with some douchebag, so it probably served as a reminder to her that he wasn't really what she was looking for- even though she was hurting over him at the time.
Here goes my list.
I want a man that's at least 5'10". He will have an appreciation for my Greek culture and heritage. He will respect the Greek Orthodox Church, and agree to raise our children there. He will be kind to others. He will respect me. He will respect my family. He will be affectionate, but not overly affectionate in public. He'll be able to hold a conversation with my dad. He'll enjoy his career path. He will love dogs. He'll support my passion to occassionally foster dogs in need. He'll be close with his family. He'll be able to comunicate with me. He'll make a LOT of money. He'll love the water, and support my "need" for a boat. He will understand that being Greek/a product of my father's genes, means that I will be extremely dramatic (at times), and any fight can be settled over a good pastichio and a shot of ouzo. He'll share my passion for food. He'll encourage me to cook. When we vacation, there will be an entire mapped course- for restaurants. He'll understand that I'm not the best housekeeper. He'll understand that the budget for groceries will ALWAYS be exceeded....always. He'll enjoy sports, but they won't be all-consuming. He'll be great with technology. He'll be able to fix a broken toilet. City living won't be for him. He'll understand that when I go to my "therapist", I'm really going to Macy's. He'll have an appreciation for luxury bedding. He'll be ok that when I get $200 in gift cards to Victoria's Secret for Christmas, I will always spend it on their sweats. He'll understand what it means to truly be hurt, but he won't be bitter. He'll love music...especially the Beatles. If something goes wrong with my car, he'll take care of it. He will be able to buy me a gift without me having to picking it out. He will appreciate my mom's eccentricity. He will watch reruns of Seinfeld- and laugh. He will have my best interest at heart. He will have the ability to apologize. He will make me laugh. He will encourage me. He will be able to have fun with my friends. My friends will like him. He will be trustworthy. He will enjoy wine- not just cheap beer. He will trust my judgment in buying his clothes. He will like my taste in decor. He won't take a shit with the bathroom door wide open. It will take him less than 30 minutes to get ready for any event. He'll accompany me on trips to Atlanta to see my sister- and get my hair done. He'll know the difference between "your" and "you're", and will always use the right one. He will never use "ur" instead of the previous pronunciation. Most of all, he will be my best friend.
Here goes my list.
I want a man that's at least 5'10". He will have an appreciation for my Greek culture and heritage. He will respect the Greek Orthodox Church, and agree to raise our children there. He will be kind to others. He will respect me. He will respect my family. He will be affectionate, but not overly affectionate in public. He'll be able to hold a conversation with my dad. He'll enjoy his career path. He will love dogs. He'll support my passion to occassionally foster dogs in need. He'll be close with his family. He'll be able to comunicate with me. He'll make a LOT of money. He'll love the water, and support my "need" for a boat. He will understand that being Greek/a product of my father's genes, means that I will be extremely dramatic (at times), and any fight can be settled over a good pastichio and a shot of ouzo. He'll share my passion for food. He'll encourage me to cook. When we vacation, there will be an entire mapped course- for restaurants. He'll understand that I'm not the best housekeeper. He'll understand that the budget for groceries will ALWAYS be exceeded....always. He'll enjoy sports, but they won't be all-consuming. He'll be great with technology. He'll be able to fix a broken toilet. City living won't be for him. He'll understand that when I go to my "therapist", I'm really going to Macy's. He'll have an appreciation for luxury bedding. He'll be ok that when I get $200 in gift cards to Victoria's Secret for Christmas, I will always spend it on their sweats. He'll understand what it means to truly be hurt, but he won't be bitter. He'll love music...especially the Beatles. If something goes wrong with my car, he'll take care of it. He will be able to buy me a gift without me having to picking it out. He will appreciate my mom's eccentricity. He will watch reruns of Seinfeld- and laugh. He will have my best interest at heart. He will have the ability to apologize. He will make me laugh. He will encourage me. He will be able to have fun with my friends. My friends will like him. He will be trustworthy. He will enjoy wine- not just cheap beer. He will trust my judgment in buying his clothes. He will like my taste in decor. He won't take a shit with the bathroom door wide open. It will take him less than 30 minutes to get ready for any event. He'll accompany me on trips to Atlanta to see my sister- and get my hair done. He'll know the difference between "your" and "you're", and will always use the right one. He will never use "ur" instead of the previous pronunciation. Most of all, he will be my best friend.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
All Good Things Come To An End
So, after 10 weeks of spending many blissful moments with Asian Persuasion, we ended things yesterday. It was done in a classy way- at the Rafferty's bar. Yep. You guessed it....I chose another "winner".
After he gave me a key to his house, told me he loved me, wanted to plan a vacation together for December, discussed moving in together, and had me double up on all of my things to keep at his house, so I could be comfortable there and stay as much as possible- he tells me he's "just not sure what he wants". So, of course, my strong-willed, independent, bitch came out and said "let me make this REAL easy for you, asshole".
Men are ridiculous. I have no idea why someone would put you through all of that. Why after spending 4 years single, would they wrap you around their finger, allow you to truly trust them, only to end it in the Rafferty's BAR, and never even a mention before that, that anything was wrong. That's what I get for dating a 27 year old.
So, here I am. Back at square 1. Back to the drawing board.
I don't understand men, and I'm not sure I ever will. The lack of care, respect, and communication from the majority of men that I have met is unbelievable! As you can tell, I'm still angry- not so much at him- more at myself. The ability to trust someone so easily, and actually believe that I had met someone who cared about me enough to put me above the little things in life. I know that all things happen for a reason, and all of those BS things people say to you in times like these- but, how am I supposed to ever really trust someone after these experiences?
The most stable man in my life has been my 6 year old Yellow Labrador Retriever. He sleeps next to me every night, doesn't care what I cook for dinner, and never complains about the house being dirty. Although, his love affair with tennis balls has gotten a little out of control, so we'll need to work on his commitment issues. Lucky for me, I've got an amazing therapist...
After he gave me a key to his house, told me he loved me, wanted to plan a vacation together for December, discussed moving in together, and had me double up on all of my things to keep at his house, so I could be comfortable there and stay as much as possible- he tells me he's "just not sure what he wants". So, of course, my strong-willed, independent, bitch came out and said "let me make this REAL easy for you, asshole".
Men are ridiculous. I have no idea why someone would put you through all of that. Why after spending 4 years single, would they wrap you around their finger, allow you to truly trust them, only to end it in the Rafferty's BAR, and never even a mention before that, that anything was wrong. That's what I get for dating a 27 year old.
So, here I am. Back at square 1. Back to the drawing board.
I don't understand men, and I'm not sure I ever will. The lack of care, respect, and communication from the majority of men that I have met is unbelievable! As you can tell, I'm still angry- not so much at him- more at myself. The ability to trust someone so easily, and actually believe that I had met someone who cared about me enough to put me above the little things in life. I know that all things happen for a reason, and all of those BS things people say to you in times like these- but, how am I supposed to ever really trust someone after these experiences?
The most stable man in my life has been my 6 year old Yellow Labrador Retriever. He sleeps next to me every night, doesn't care what I cook for dinner, and never complains about the house being dirty. Although, his love affair with tennis balls has gotten a little out of control, so we'll need to work on his commitment issues. Lucky for me, I've got an amazing therapist...
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Getting To Know Your Character
The TV series, Sex and the City, first appeared on television in 1998. I watched my first episode when I was a freshman in college (2002) thanks to 2 of my best friends and a handful of heartbreaks for the two of them. I was 19, and in a blissful relationship that would come to be known as husband numero uno, and I had absolutely NO clue what Carrie Bradshaw was talking about, or the experiences that Samantha Jones went through. I had had one other boyfriend before meeting my husband, and what I knew about love was relatively naive, and beautiful. Watching Sex and the City was an addiction for many girls my age- but for me, it was purely for entertainment purposes. The closest I could relate to any of the characters was Charlotte's determination to get married and have babies, and live a "perfect" life. As is the case for most 19 year olds, what I had expected out of life then, was not the same thing that I expected at 25. I would presume that I will not expect the same things at 30 as I did at 25...time will tell.
I came home from a long day at work the other night, changed straight into my sweats, got into bed, curled up with my dogs, and turned on the TV- Sex and the City was on. It had been a full day of storms and tornadic activity for us in the south, and I had spent most of my day at a different one of our offices interviewing for a promotion. I had kept a smile on my face all day until I turned on the TV and heard the familiar sound of the Sex and the City opening music. I hadn't watched the show in a long time, and a FLOOD of emotion came over me! Why?!? Most likely becuase I was PMSing, but, even today I am still trying to decypher why it effected me like it did.
I think when I watch that show now at 27 years old, as opposed to 19, I actually CAN relate to all of the characters. I get how Carrie jumps from one relationship to another, all-along clinging to the most unhealthy relationships of them all. I get how Samantha wants to live a wildly thrilling life, and instead of committing to one man, just have a little taste of them all. I get how Maranda is driven, and puts her career first, and mostly thrives off of the relationships with her friends. And Charlotte, sweet Charlotte....as much as I related to her at 19, I just haven't had that in me over the past 4 years. I'm slowly but surely seeing more and more of her in me, but whereas I use to solely relate to her, I am now more diversified. I think as I've entered into my late 20's, I've began to have more of a well-rounded view of all of those characters. Obviously, I am my own person, and I could never relate solely to one of the girls in the show, but I GET them all now. At 19, they were a mere fragment of what I knew about life and love, and could easily watch a whole season in one evening with my best friends, a few cosmo's, and some super MSG-charged chinese food. And now, at 27, I find myself weeping over the situations that are depicted in the show because once you walk your own path of self discovery, you KNOW you will never
JUST
be
Charlotte.
I came home from a long day at work the other night, changed straight into my sweats, got into bed, curled up with my dogs, and turned on the TV- Sex and the City was on. It had been a full day of storms and tornadic activity for us in the south, and I had spent most of my day at a different one of our offices interviewing for a promotion. I had kept a smile on my face all day until I turned on the TV and heard the familiar sound of the Sex and the City opening music. I hadn't watched the show in a long time, and a FLOOD of emotion came over me! Why?!? Most likely becuase I was PMSing, but, even today I am still trying to decypher why it effected me like it did.
I think when I watch that show now at 27 years old, as opposed to 19, I actually CAN relate to all of the characters. I get how Carrie jumps from one relationship to another, all-along clinging to the most unhealthy relationships of them all. I get how Samantha wants to live a wildly thrilling life, and instead of committing to one man, just have a little taste of them all. I get how Maranda is driven, and puts her career first, and mostly thrives off of the relationships with her friends. And Charlotte, sweet Charlotte....as much as I related to her at 19, I just haven't had that in me over the past 4 years. I'm slowly but surely seeing more and more of her in me, but whereas I use to solely relate to her, I am now more diversified. I think as I've entered into my late 20's, I've began to have more of a well-rounded view of all of those characters. Obviously, I am my own person, and I could never relate solely to one of the girls in the show, but I GET them all now. At 19, they were a mere fragment of what I knew about life and love, and could easily watch a whole season in one evening with my best friends, a few cosmo's, and some super MSG-charged chinese food. And now, at 27, I find myself weeping over the situations that are depicted in the show because once you walk your own path of self discovery, you KNOW you will never
JUST
be
Charlotte.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Seeing Red
I did something tonight that just might make me slightly crazy.
For those of you that know me- I'm sure you're thinking, "Oh Laawwd, what has she done now?!" But, it was truly amazing.
Valentine's Day is coming up, and all I’ve seen since New Year’s is a bunch of little red hearts plastered all over the Walgreen’s aisles, candies packaged in pink, red, and white, and the most annoying Jewelry store commercials...I can tell you from experience, that every kiss does NOT begin with Kay, and if the only way you can get that warm tingly feeling inside is to scream “He got it at Jared”…obviously, my batteries work better than yours.
I've planned a single's night out for my friends on Monday, so we can go out, and help get our minds off of the fact that no one is coming home to us with a corny card, those terrible tasting hearts with sayings on them, and a shit eating grin- which, undeniably would end in a tango in the sheets. I am still ridiculously excited to spend the evening with a group of friends that are near and dear to my heart. And although I don’t have a man to call my “own”, I have plenty of love from the dearest of friends, and I know I am a very lucky girl.
So, ok, ok- back to the thing that makes me crazy...
Tonight, I booked a hotel for myself. Had dinner by myself. Turned off my cell phone, tuned out work emails, painted my fingernails, washed off my makeup, and did absolutely nothing. I sprawled out in bed watching Thursday night TV, ignoring all outside distractions, and treating myself to quite possibly, the best Valentine's Day, ever. Being in a hotel room reminded me of the days when I use to travel frequently for work- only in this instance, my feet and legs weren’t about to fall off from complete exhaustion, and I was allowed to unwind to a few glasses of wine (worked for a Christian Co. that didn’t allow drinking) and a Jersey Mike’s sub. I ate in bed, in my pajama’s- not caring that I didn’t put deodorant on, or that my hair was in complete disarray. I know I don’t have kids, or a husband- but, I still have a ton of responsibilities at home, and being able to tune EVERYTHING out for one night was complete bliss. I can’t imagine what mom’s and dad’s must go through. I highly encourage you to take a night out for yourself when you can. Do nothing! It feels fabulous.
This Valentine’s Day, I’m not going to be sad for the things that I don’t have. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that companionship lies far beyond a 2c diamond ring. I know that love comes to me in the form of the dinners that my brother cooks for me, the nudges that my dogs give me, the encouragement from my mom and dad, and the amazing good times with my friends. Do something for those you love, and those that are close to you on Monday, even if you are single! Xoxo
For those of you that know me- I'm sure you're thinking, "Oh Laawwd, what has she done now?!" But, it was truly amazing.
Valentine's Day is coming up, and all I’ve seen since New Year’s is a bunch of little red hearts plastered all over the Walgreen’s aisles, candies packaged in pink, red, and white, and the most annoying Jewelry store commercials...I can tell you from experience, that every kiss does NOT begin with Kay, and if the only way you can get that warm tingly feeling inside is to scream “He got it at Jared”…obviously, my batteries work better than yours.
I've planned a single's night out for my friends on Monday, so we can go out, and help get our minds off of the fact that no one is coming home to us with a corny card, those terrible tasting hearts with sayings on them, and a shit eating grin- which, undeniably would end in a tango in the sheets. I am still ridiculously excited to spend the evening with a group of friends that are near and dear to my heart. And although I don’t have a man to call my “own”, I have plenty of love from the dearest of friends, and I know I am a very lucky girl.
So, ok, ok- back to the thing that makes me crazy...
Tonight, I booked a hotel for myself. Had dinner by myself. Turned off my cell phone, tuned out work emails, painted my fingernails, washed off my makeup, and did absolutely nothing. I sprawled out in bed watching Thursday night TV, ignoring all outside distractions, and treating myself to quite possibly, the best Valentine's Day, ever. Being in a hotel room reminded me of the days when I use to travel frequently for work- only in this instance, my feet and legs weren’t about to fall off from complete exhaustion, and I was allowed to unwind to a few glasses of wine (worked for a Christian Co. that didn’t allow drinking) and a Jersey Mike’s sub. I ate in bed, in my pajama’s- not caring that I didn’t put deodorant on, or that my hair was in complete disarray. I know I don’t have kids, or a husband- but, I still have a ton of responsibilities at home, and being able to tune EVERYTHING out for one night was complete bliss. I can’t imagine what mom’s and dad’s must go through. I highly encourage you to take a night out for yourself when you can. Do nothing! It feels fabulous.
This Valentine’s Day, I’m not going to be sad for the things that I don’t have. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that companionship lies far beyond a 2c diamond ring. I know that love comes to me in the form of the dinners that my brother cooks for me, the nudges that my dogs give me, the encouragement from my mom and dad, and the amazing good times with my friends. Do something for those you love, and those that are close to you on Monday, even if you are single! Xoxo
Saturday, January 8, 2011
3 - 3
Have you ever had a feeling that God must be playing a really big joke on you? Like at any minute, Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out and yell "Punk'd!" at you?? I felt like that tonight.
For the second day in a row, I have had a second date....with the same person. We enjoyed ourselves AGAIN so much tonight, that a third date is planned tomorrow- 3 days in a row.
Now, in all honesty- this comes as a huge shock to me. Earlier this week I was crying to my mom over a possible root canal, and the ever-looming feeling that I'm never going to get married (again) and have children. Next minute, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights are all full with my new found internet boyfriend! I have spent a lot of time with this guy, considering it's only been around 48 hours since I met him....and we've talked about everything from music to religion to addressing some of the skeletons in our closets. It's been- amazing! I can't remember the last time a guy got underneath my skin this way, and it's hard not to be so skeptical of the whole thing. I'm waiting (and if I'm honest with myself, I'm *hoping*) for him to show his true colors, become a complete lunatic, and get taken away in handcuffs any minute! He has been entirely too nice to me- and how sad is it that I give him looks like he MUST be growing a 3rd eye, each time he gives me a compliment???
In my experience, most (not all) men are very good at putting up a quick front- but I'm able to see through them. Usually they divert their attention to the football game that's on the TV- but this guy listens attentively, makes me feel like I'm beautiful (inside and out), he is considerate of my wants, has very good communication skills, and is a cultured man of the world.
Tonight, he kissed me. And for the very first time, in a long time, I got that excited feeling deep in my stomach- which I usually reserve for Ruth's Chris dinners. But, this guy makes me crave a lot more than food!
To be continued...
For the second day in a row, I have had a second date....with the same person. We enjoyed ourselves AGAIN so much tonight, that a third date is planned tomorrow- 3 days in a row.
Now, in all honesty- this comes as a huge shock to me. Earlier this week I was crying to my mom over a possible root canal, and the ever-looming feeling that I'm never going to get married (again) and have children. Next minute, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights are all full with my new found internet boyfriend! I have spent a lot of time with this guy, considering it's only been around 48 hours since I met him....and we've talked about everything from music to religion to addressing some of the skeletons in our closets. It's been- amazing! I can't remember the last time a guy got underneath my skin this way, and it's hard not to be so skeptical of the whole thing. I'm waiting (and if I'm honest with myself, I'm *hoping*) for him to show his true colors, become a complete lunatic, and get taken away in handcuffs any minute! He has been entirely too nice to me- and how sad is it that I give him looks like he MUST be growing a 3rd eye, each time he gives me a compliment???
In my experience, most (not all) men are very good at putting up a quick front- but I'm able to see through them. Usually they divert their attention to the football game that's on the TV- but this guy listens attentively, makes me feel like I'm beautiful (inside and out), he is considerate of my wants, has very good communication skills, and is a cultured man of the world.
Tonight, he kissed me. And for the very first time, in a long time, I got that excited feeling deep in my stomach- which I usually reserve for Ruth's Chris dinners. But, this guy makes me crave a lot more than food!
To be continued...
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