20/20

In the dating world, life seems to come with a high speed chase of emotions. It's as if you are stuck in some horrifying Lifetime movie- Main character falls in love with some abusive ass hole and she ends up fighting for her life before the knight in shining armor comes in and saves her. They're all the same, right? We've seen the movies time, and time again, and yet, when it happens in real life- usually there is no knight in shining armor to save us. We either pick those pieces up ourselves, or our moms, sisters, and best friends help us to put the pieces back together again.

I heard a quote recently, and thought it was good enough to share:
"There's a 95% chance that the Knight in Shining Armor coming up the road is really the Village Idiot wearing tinfoil."

PERFECT!! I laughed really hard when I first read this, but truth be told, how many times do we "fall in love" only to realize, in time, that your "knight" is truly nothing but the village idiot in disguise? It's happened to me on more than one occasion, and I can bet (from what I hear), that it's happened to you as well. I pray that you only dated him, and didn't marry him.

As all things go with my blog, I will give you one of my true life experiences so you can laugh with me- and in order to fully understand my experience, go ahead and order yourself a large supreme pizza (no onions), and eat your heart out. That's what *I* do anyway.

On a cool rainy night, I was introduced to "Jason". Jason was everything that I had been looking for: intelligent, fun, outgoing, tall, steady job, 1 marriage behind him, olive skin..... Well, this Jason was something else- I could swear to you that I fell for him almost the minute I laid eyes on him. I wanted him BAD, and I was like a kitty cat after her prey. I knew what I wanted, and dammit, I was going to get it. We were introduced in a nice, yet informal setting, and we immediately hit it off. I could feel my cheeks blushing frequently, but I told myself it was just the wine. I had pictures of grandeur in my head- and I could almost swear little fairies did a dance to the sugar plums in the honor of my new found love. I immediately made up my mind that he was the most amazing find, and had us coupled up (in my head) for 6 months.

Here is what prince charming really looked like: neat freak, workaholic, gym obsessed, phone obsessed, no sex drive, sense of humor was lacking, talked to people like shit, and I am pretty sure he was seeing many other women during our time together. I introduced him to my friends, and they didn't like him. I introduced him to some of my family, and they didn't like him. Yet, I continued to perceive this guy as though he was a real piece of work. I even caught him texting other girls, and saying things to them that no one would say, if they really cared about you. But, I told myself it was “ok”, because no REAL exchange of words had taken place between us saying that we were committed. "Committed" being the right word, because that’s exactly what should have happened to me.

My point in all of this is that the real abuse sometimes comes from ourselves. *I* allowed Mr. Know It All to put me last on his list and *I* continued to make excuses for his no-good, piece of shit ass. Eventually, after I'm sure, a nice eating binge, and a pep-talk from my father, I ended things with Prince Charming. It was so hard for me to do, but as soon as it was over, I felt more relieved than I had felt in a LONG time! The weight had been lifted, and I quickly felt better about my life. This guy had me hooked worse than a bad Percocet habit, and as any recovering alcoholic or drug addict knows- it's not easy to stay sober. Relapses happen most of the time, but my strong, independent, Greek side does have an upper hand in this game (at least, I hope).

In recent weeks, I have seen Jason, and I see him for exactly what he is. It makes me sad that I was so attracted to a man who is completely void of intimate emotion, and thinks he is God's gift...when in reality, he was pretty darn lucky to have me even give him the time of day - but, life goes on, and thank God I'm not broken enough to stay with someone who treats me like that.

I have learned a lot since the days of Jason. Hindsight is always 20/20, and boy am I ready for a man that doesn't require an extensive (emotional) surgery to see clearly. For now, I am sticking with marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, to occupy my relationship status.