Venus and Mars

I love the feeling that I get when listening to The Beatles.

It's a feeling that brings about my youth, my father, and an overall contentment with life that has been relatively distant these days. I've had a hard time writing at all, because I've felt so negative, but when I listen to John, Paul, George, and Ringo- suddenly, "All the Lonely People" put me at ease. I have had a string of bad luck events lately, and I am down and out on this whole dating scene....it's not my thing, and no one wants to "Hold My Hand" or just "Let It Be". I'm so over it. I didn't think it would be this hard! The online dating thing has severely wounded my self-confidence. I know it works for some people, but it's just too strange for me. I tend to fall in love with my best friend....and these internet guys have no history in my life. I don't know if I can trust them, if I want to trust them, or if it's worth my time to invest in someone that's just-nice-enough-but-not-quite-cute-enough-and-doesn't-have-a-job-and-is-25-years-my-senior. **Dear God, please make me stop freaking out about my 27th birthday approaching, and I'm still single and childless.**


I wish we all lived in a "Yellow Submarine". That sounds like a nice place. It's similar to when I get mad, or fed up with the American way of life and I say, "Screw this shit hole, I'm moving to Greece!" But then, I'm quickly reminded that Greece isn't really up to speed on technology, or ice cubes, or air conditioning....HOWEVER, they don't work like slaves, they have AMAZING food, and who couldn't be happy just sitting around looking at what engulfs them?! Greece is a beautiful country, but they are suffering greatly right now. I pray many times that they won't have to sell their debt to a place like China....*sigh*...


Now, before I go getting all political on you....rest assured, it's a "Good Day, Sunshine".


On a much more personal note, I am having issues with sleeping. My sleep is constantly interrupted by some strong brute-which whom, by the way, I'm having sex with! It's great, because in your dreams there is no reason to worry about such debauchery! This man seems to be of Swedish decent, he's a body builder, and he has tattoos....it's everything that I've never had, and I don't get where this *man* has come from, but I'm starting to believe in invisible (boy)friends...he "Don't Let Me Down", which is in and of itself a pretty fantastic feat- EVEN IF he IS made up! After describing this to my best friend and therapist, she told me that our dreams are usually fragments from our day that form into a deep rooted thought. Soooooooo, in other words, I pretty much sit around and think about porking all day long, while it’s not happening for me, and everyone around me IS porking- so I just get to dream about porking with some fictional douchebag, probably named “Ty”. Meanwhile, I am feeling like Tiger Woods on a bad ecstasy trip locked away in a monastery.


Speaking of monastery….


Today my priest spoke of "being a farmer of your own heart". I thought it was interesting- especially considering how much my heart has hurt lately. What he said was so right...couldn't be more right. We have to work on our hearts- much like a crop. Pull the weeds; keep it clear of rocks and other harmful things. And we must plant patience, truth, obedience, discipline...above all things though, we must plant LOVE. Thank you Father for speaking those words to me today. I need more of my own love planted in my heart...for without my love to fertilize, no one elses love will be able to sustain the terrain.


In the great words of my favorite musicians...."All You Need Is Love"


Thank you, dad, for introducing me to The Beatles and giving me their amazing melodies to brighten my days.