I am finally into month 2 of my 3 month online dating stint. I gave myself 3 months because the 50% off coupon was only valid for that time period, and I was pretty convinced that this would be a relatively easy process. Boy, was I wrong. I have a huge mix of emotions when it comes to my experiences thus far. I have been on dates with 5 different guys, and I don't have a bad thing to say about any of them. 1 of them, in fact, will most likely be a long-term friend and sounding board for many topics. The others....well, they were all nice, but there has to be more than "nice", right??? I long for the date when you both show up, look lovingly into each other’s eyes, and decide that you never want to leave without that person! "Calling Ms. K to the psych ward", I know...
As much of a cynic as I am when it comes to men, there IS a passion for love and relationship deep within my soul. One of my favorite things about the Orthodox Church is the value that they place on love, and being loved. It is truly one of the best gifts that God gave us, and I know I would be missing out to never have that again in my life. So, I search for "it"...like a lost kid who wonders if anyone will TRULY ever love me for the person that I have become- through the hurt, the shame, the tears, and the resounding independence that I seem to sprout more and more of everyday. Independence is a great thing, but I find myself often thinking how much a man would disrupt my lovely way of life. Obviously this feeling is the lesser of my options, because I continue to search for the "one"...like Neo and Trinity.
Eventually, I'm sure that time will win, and when I'm least expecting it- I will be slapped in the face by my future forever lover (at least, this is what my mom tells me). Right now, I am going to continue to forward the hilarious matches that I receive daily, and share them with my friends.
Signing out-
Cynically Devout Love Seeker
And for your entertainment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FefWp_4B0k
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