So, after 10 weeks of spending many blissful moments with Asian Persuasion, we ended things yesterday. It was done in a classy way- at the Rafferty's bar. Yep. You guessed it....I chose another "winner".
After he gave me a key to his house, told me he loved me, wanted to plan a vacation together for December, discussed moving in together, and had me double up on all of my things to keep at his house, so I could be comfortable there and stay as much as possible- he tells me he's "just not sure what he wants". So, of course, my strong-willed, independent, bitch came out and said "let me make this REAL easy for you, asshole".
Men are ridiculous. I have no idea why someone would put you through all of that. Why after spending 4 years single, would they wrap you around their finger, allow you to truly trust them, only to end it in the Rafferty's BAR, and never even a mention before that, that anything was wrong. That's what I get for dating a 27 year old.
So, here I am. Back at square 1. Back to the drawing board.
I don't understand men, and I'm not sure I ever will. The lack of care, respect, and communication from the majority of men that I have met is unbelievable! As you can tell, I'm still angry- not so much at him- more at myself. The ability to trust someone so easily, and actually believe that I had met someone who cared about me enough to put me above the little things in life. I know that all things happen for a reason, and all of those BS things people say to you in times like these- but, how am I supposed to ever really trust someone after these experiences?
The most stable man in my life has been my 6 year old Yellow Labrador Retriever. He sleeps next to me every night, doesn't care what I cook for dinner, and never complains about the house being dirty. Although, his love affair with tennis balls has gotten a little out of control, so we'll need to work on his commitment issues. Lucky for me, I've got an amazing therapist...
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Getting To Know Your Character
The TV series, Sex and the City, first appeared on television in 1998. I watched my first episode when I was a freshman in college (2002) thanks to 2 of my best friends and a handful of heartbreaks for the two of them. I was 19, and in a blissful relationship that would come to be known as husband numero uno, and I had absolutely NO clue what Carrie Bradshaw was talking about, or the experiences that Samantha Jones went through. I had had one other boyfriend before meeting my husband, and what I knew about love was relatively naive, and beautiful. Watching Sex and the City was an addiction for many girls my age- but for me, it was purely for entertainment purposes. The closest I could relate to any of the characters was Charlotte's determination to get married and have babies, and live a "perfect" life. As is the case for most 19 year olds, what I had expected out of life then, was not the same thing that I expected at 25. I would presume that I will not expect the same things at 30 as I did at 25...time will tell.
I came home from a long day at work the other night, changed straight into my sweats, got into bed, curled up with my dogs, and turned on the TV- Sex and the City was on. It had been a full day of storms and tornadic activity for us in the south, and I had spent most of my day at a different one of our offices interviewing for a promotion. I had kept a smile on my face all day until I turned on the TV and heard the familiar sound of the Sex and the City opening music. I hadn't watched the show in a long time, and a FLOOD of emotion came over me! Why?!? Most likely becuase I was PMSing, but, even today I am still trying to decypher why it effected me like it did.
I think when I watch that show now at 27 years old, as opposed to 19, I actually CAN relate to all of the characters. I get how Carrie jumps from one relationship to another, all-along clinging to the most unhealthy relationships of them all. I get how Samantha wants to live a wildly thrilling life, and instead of committing to one man, just have a little taste of them all. I get how Maranda is driven, and puts her career first, and mostly thrives off of the relationships with her friends. And Charlotte, sweet Charlotte....as much as I related to her at 19, I just haven't had that in me over the past 4 years. I'm slowly but surely seeing more and more of her in me, but whereas I use to solely relate to her, I am now more diversified. I think as I've entered into my late 20's, I've began to have more of a well-rounded view of all of those characters. Obviously, I am my own person, and I could never relate solely to one of the girls in the show, but I GET them all now. At 19, they were a mere fragment of what I knew about life and love, and could easily watch a whole season in one evening with my best friends, a few cosmo's, and some super MSG-charged chinese food. And now, at 27, I find myself weeping over the situations that are depicted in the show because once you walk your own path of self discovery, you KNOW you will never
JUST
be
Charlotte.
I came home from a long day at work the other night, changed straight into my sweats, got into bed, curled up with my dogs, and turned on the TV- Sex and the City was on. It had been a full day of storms and tornadic activity for us in the south, and I had spent most of my day at a different one of our offices interviewing for a promotion. I had kept a smile on my face all day until I turned on the TV and heard the familiar sound of the Sex and the City opening music. I hadn't watched the show in a long time, and a FLOOD of emotion came over me! Why?!? Most likely becuase I was PMSing, but, even today I am still trying to decypher why it effected me like it did.
I think when I watch that show now at 27 years old, as opposed to 19, I actually CAN relate to all of the characters. I get how Carrie jumps from one relationship to another, all-along clinging to the most unhealthy relationships of them all. I get how Samantha wants to live a wildly thrilling life, and instead of committing to one man, just have a little taste of them all. I get how Maranda is driven, and puts her career first, and mostly thrives off of the relationships with her friends. And Charlotte, sweet Charlotte....as much as I related to her at 19, I just haven't had that in me over the past 4 years. I'm slowly but surely seeing more and more of her in me, but whereas I use to solely relate to her, I am now more diversified. I think as I've entered into my late 20's, I've began to have more of a well-rounded view of all of those characters. Obviously, I am my own person, and I could never relate solely to one of the girls in the show, but I GET them all now. At 19, they were a mere fragment of what I knew about life and love, and could easily watch a whole season in one evening with my best friends, a few cosmo's, and some super MSG-charged chinese food. And now, at 27, I find myself weeping over the situations that are depicted in the show because once you walk your own path of self discovery, you KNOW you will never
JUST
be
Charlotte.
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