It was a Friday morning, and I could think of a million places I would rather be than right where I was at that moment. I was sitting in a Project Costing session, learning all about how to work with our finance team and a new version of our budgets. It was being held in a small room in the building's basement, big enough to hold around 50 people seated at tables, and illuminated by flourescent lights. The overhead made a constant, dull, murmur that was just loud enough for my mind to escape and let my thoughts wonder for a bit.
The first logical thought was, "are my peers really into what our speakers are telling us?!" I mean, come on...it's Friday, and we're learning about BUDGETS? No one in their right mind holds a meeting on Friday in our company, because most people check out Thursday afternoon, and return with a half-way lucid thought process Tuesday morning. Fridays are reserved for the mundane paperwork that each person dreads doing throughout their typical work week, but can do with their eyes closed. I am definitely one of those people.
As I felt my eyes get heavy, and my internal energy switch to its lowest gear, I quietly allowed myself to wonder into a "closed" place in my heart. A place where love once roamed freely and a place where pain was short lived. A place where happiness abound, and grossly outweighed sadness. I thought back to falling in love and how wonderful that feeling was. I remembered the days when bitterness was something I could only label on divorcees and not come close to understanding the term on my own. I remembered how easy it was. How sporadic, and how momentarily lovely it all was. At one time, love flowed freely through my heart, body, and soul, and invigorated all aspects of my life. It was in that instant, in the small, basement room with fluorescent lighting, that I decided I could...no, I WANTED to love again.
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only love." ~Mother Teresa
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Vanilla Bean
There are, I believe, 2 types of people in this world.
There are people who appreciate a variety when it comes to food, and then you have people who prefer consistency when it comes to food.
I, obviously, fall into the first category. I know that even as a child I loved trying new restaurants, new dishes, and always had a desire to please my taste buds in a way that only a new, exotic taste would fulfill.
Over my (almost) 27 years here on earth, I have met a wide variety of people. Many of these people fall into the same category as me- enjoying new savory and mouthwatering adventures with their taste buds. I have also been surprised by the amount of people that I have come across who want absolutely nothing to do with my adventures into Indian, Japanese, or Vietnamese food. I use to regard these people as quite difficult, and rather annoying. I even coined the nickname "Vanilla Bean" for a dear friend, who simply wants nothing to do with trying new foods. For many years I have been perplexed at the unwillingness of some people to just TRY something new. I was married to someone with the "Vanilla Bean" mentality, which completely drove me insane! We would go to dinner, and there I would be- almost having an orgasm over a chocolate fondue with caramel (no nuts), and he would barely pick at the food, looking rather uninterested, which would always end with me being disappointed that I could not share one of the things that I am most passionate about with the person that I most loved.
To be honest, picky people tend to annoy the shit out of me. However, I have many friends who profess the "Vanilla Bean" mentality, and recently, I happened upon a discussion regarding this very topic with one of them. I met this guy through one of my recent dating escapades, and although I found myself wildly attracted to him, I ended up talking myself down from the ledge when I found out that he eats the same. thing. every. day.
*Bummer*
He tends to find it hilarious that I freak out over his eating habits, so he will occasionally indulge some of his recent menu information to me. The most recent was 37 continual lunch trips to the exact same restaurant, ordering the exact same meal- with variety being thrown in on Fridays (ordering a different type of meat on the same sandwich).
What
the
fuck?!
I almost literally had a meltdown for this poor guy, but when we got to talking about it, a light bulb went off in my head.
*This guy CRAVES consistency*
I don't know his entire life story, but what I do know about him, makes sense why he is this way. Many of the picky eaters in my life have had one, two, or several traumatizing events in their lives. I also think that in some particular cases, picky eaters have emerged due to the attention that they received in their early years of pickiness.
I will also mention, that picky eaters are also some of the most loyal and best friends I could ask for. Most likely due to the fact that they find the things in life that they love, and stick with it- religiously.
In my case, I love variety. I usually embrace change, and I have no problem welcoming new and improved things into my life. This is fun when it comes to food, however, can be damaging when it comes to relationships. I'm always looking for something better....scouring the earth for the thing that looks, tastes, and feels the best. The here and now isn't good enough, and so I continue on a search for the best. My very loved picky eaters, tend to find themselves more content in the here and the now, and don't worry so much about what they might have missed out on, or what new things may come their way.
In this recent discovery, I have a new appreciation for my "vanilla beans". They are a constant light in my life, and I wouldn't change them for the world.
I hope to be just as good of a friend to them and not portray the fickle side of me that so often wants to make an appearance.
Now, on to my curry dinner! :)
There are people who appreciate a variety when it comes to food, and then you have people who prefer consistency when it comes to food.
I, obviously, fall into the first category. I know that even as a child I loved trying new restaurants, new dishes, and always had a desire to please my taste buds in a way that only a new, exotic taste would fulfill.
Over my (almost) 27 years here on earth, I have met a wide variety of people. Many of these people fall into the same category as me- enjoying new savory and mouthwatering adventures with their taste buds. I have also been surprised by the amount of people that I have come across who want absolutely nothing to do with my adventures into Indian, Japanese, or Vietnamese food. I use to regard these people as quite difficult, and rather annoying. I even coined the nickname "Vanilla Bean" for a dear friend, who simply wants nothing to do with trying new foods. For many years I have been perplexed at the unwillingness of some people to just TRY something new. I was married to someone with the "Vanilla Bean" mentality, which completely drove me insane! We would go to dinner, and there I would be- almost having an orgasm over a chocolate fondue with caramel (no nuts), and he would barely pick at the food, looking rather uninterested, which would always end with me being disappointed that I could not share one of the things that I am most passionate about with the person that I most loved.
To be honest, picky people tend to annoy the shit out of me. However, I have many friends who profess the "Vanilla Bean" mentality, and recently, I happened upon a discussion regarding this very topic with one of them. I met this guy through one of my recent dating escapades, and although I found myself wildly attracted to him, I ended up talking myself down from the ledge when I found out that he eats the same. thing. every. day.
*Bummer*
He tends to find it hilarious that I freak out over his eating habits, so he will occasionally indulge some of his recent menu information to me. The most recent was 37 continual lunch trips to the exact same restaurant, ordering the exact same meal- with variety being thrown in on Fridays (ordering a different type of meat on the same sandwich).
What
the
fuck?!
I almost literally had a meltdown for this poor guy, but when we got to talking about it, a light bulb went off in my head.
*This guy CRAVES consistency*
I don't know his entire life story, but what I do know about him, makes sense why he is this way. Many of the picky eaters in my life have had one, two, or several traumatizing events in their lives. I also think that in some particular cases, picky eaters have emerged due to the attention that they received in their early years of pickiness.
I will also mention, that picky eaters are also some of the most loyal and best friends I could ask for. Most likely due to the fact that they find the things in life that they love, and stick with it- religiously.
In my case, I love variety. I usually embrace change, and I have no problem welcoming new and improved things into my life. This is fun when it comes to food, however, can be damaging when it comes to relationships. I'm always looking for something better....scouring the earth for the thing that looks, tastes, and feels the best. The here and now isn't good enough, and so I continue on a search for the best. My very loved picky eaters, tend to find themselves more content in the here and the now, and don't worry so much about what they might have missed out on, or what new things may come their way.
In this recent discovery, I have a new appreciation for my "vanilla beans". They are a constant light in my life, and I wouldn't change them for the world.
I hope to be just as good of a friend to them and not portray the fickle side of me that so often wants to make an appearance.
Now, on to my curry dinner! :)
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